.. .: :: Francesca's delirium :: :. ..

Is it me who is afraid to get bored and thus makes any effort to make life even more stressful and complicated?
I've never felt so bad in my life, and I can't take any decisions either.
Anyway, since I don't want to change my nickname from 'happysmile' to 'gloomysigh' I'll list down some things that cheer me up.
Sorry, I'm afraid this post is mostly for myself. Or maybe, hopefully, it's not.

1. My loved ones.
They're in Italy but in my heart as well. And when I need them, thanks to Skype and msn messenger, I can argue with them in real time. Hehe.
This photo was taken in Calabria during the Summer holidays. The two sun-tanned beauties are my sister and I.



2. This photo of my mum and my dad.
It was taken in 1977, more than one year before I was born. My mother let me take it with me. I think I don't have anything in common with any of them, maybe I've been adopted! And also, I am very upset at the idea that my mum was only 26 when he got married. Anyway, I do love this photo. My mum was so happy and young! [a pessimistic comment about marriage would follow, but I promised myself to post an happy message]



3. "While you were sleeping...".
One of my most loved movies ever. Perfect to cheer me up anytime. I already have the DVDs of my other very favourite movies [ my #1 ever: "Lady Hawke", and then P&P starring Colin Firth, "Meet Joe Black", "The Princess Bride", "America's Sweethearts", other movies I can't remember right now, oh and for Christmas I got "The corpse bride" and "The phantom of the Opera", and actually also "Howl's moving castle" but my sister stole it from me :( ], but they are all in Italy. It happened to me to find the DVD of "While you were sleeping..." by chance in a charity shop for 3 pounds. I have never found it in Italy, that's why I didn't have it. Anyway, it was my lucky day: the DVD had 3 languages available, i.e. English (actually American), Italian and French. I am watching in English (I know it by heart) but I'm happy I will be able to watch it again and again with my sister in Italian :)
I absolutely adore Bill Pullman and Sandra Bullock!!!



4. "Nodame Cantabile".
I have to thank Mr.X for telling about this amazing manga/anime/drama. For the moment I've only seen the first 3 episodes of the drama (subbed in English) but I have to find out more about the manga and the anime. Anyway I want to see all the 11 episodes of the drama first. The first 3 made me burst into laughters much more heartily than I could have ever hoped. It is absolutely demential, but I can promise you'll fell in love with it badly. It's sort of addictive! And I won't say anything about the music, absolutely divine. No, it's not j-pop. It's classical music. ^_^

5. Books (and CDs).
Yes, this is how I spend my money and time. I'm a used-book hunter. And I also look for some CDs, but it's more difficult to find my favourite ones. Anyway I bought 2 CDs of Charlotte Church I really like, and also a 2 CD set of "Jesus Christ Superstar" and a CD of highlights of "The Phantom of the Opera" - Original London cast. I'm still looking for the complete 2 CD set of "The Phantom of the Opera" from the movie, but in the meantime I'm really enjoying Sarah Brightman's performance. The only problem with this CD is that it is too short!
As far as books, I'm reading "Never let me go" by Kazuo Ishiguro. I think I will like it very much, even though it's the worst kind of book for me when I am in this dark mood. *_*

Before that, I read a real masterpiece.
"Autobiography of a geisha" by Sayo Masuda. Yes, the geisha-mania strikes back.
Well, I confess I enjoyed Arthur Golden's "Memoirs of a Geisha" and even the movie, starring drop-dead-gorgeous Ken Watanabe. But well, after talking with some Japanese friends I was rather disappointed. I still like the book and the movie, but I consider them 100% fiction.
Anyway, I was not happy about Mineko Iwasaki's reaction. I agree with her about some things (for example I think Arthur Golden shouldn't have written her name anywhere) but not about other things (I guess some unpleasant details about Geisha as described in Mr. Golden's book are likely to be true, even though I am not saying they all happened to Mineko Iwasaki).
I think she was too hypocrit, but at the same time I understand that Arthur Golden must have caused her a lot of troubles.
By the way, I found her autobiography "Geisha of Gion"! I can't wait to read it!!
Anyway...
Sayo Masuda's work is absolutely different from our ideas of the geisha world. She was poor, and she didn't work in the chic quarter of Gion, but in a spring resort. Her customers were rarely elegant, rich, very important people.
Her detailed report of a squallid life doesn't have an happy ending, but my feeling is that even if there have been some serious attempt to give up (= commit suicide), for some reasons there is a blind attachment to life that gave this incredible woman the strength to go on and fight.
Not only we cannot blame her for anything she did in her life, but the more we read, the more we sympathize with her and feel mad at life itself that can be so unfair.
I don't know if this woman is still alive, but I would really really get down on my knees and thank her for writing such a touching unforgettable book.
Even if she could barely write (and only in hiragana), and even if the reason why she wrote it was only why she needed money, she ended up giving us a precious treasure. I am more than proud to have it in my book case.
I feel I will not be so enthusiastic about "Geisha of Gion", but I want to give Mineko Iwasaki a chance. I will let you know what I think as soon as I read her book.

6. "Miss Potter".
The only movie I've watched at the cinema so far. Not a work of art, but I like Renee Zellweger, I love the breath-taking landscapes, and I think it was a positive movie. Last but not least, it's a movie about an illustrator, so I had to like it hehe

7. Dried strawberries covered with yoguth icing.
I found them by chance when I was looking for something to eat on a lazy Sunday in Regent's Park.
There were those dried fruits covered with something similar to white chocolate, but actually it was a sort of butter icing, similar to white chocolate but a little sour (they said that there is some yogurth somewhere in the ingredients). When I saw the strawberries I had no doubt: this would be my healthy lunch.
I'm happy the packet contained only 200g: in fact, I couldn't stop until I finished them. And I had a horrible tummy ache for the rest of the day.
Anyway when I feel a little healthier I will but them again. They are more addictive than marshmallows.
Mmmh.
Not sure about that.
I love both to distraction haha

8. Loquela online.
A nice guy wrote me to tell me about his suite of free language learning websites at Loquela education Online.
There is a very interesting section dedicate to Japan.
It's under construction, but definitely already a great job.
Go and register, it's free!!!
Loquela-education.net

9. A lovely romantic scene.
I'm getting old and an unexpected tender scene can touch my cold heart :p
There is this lady from some country in the Middle East in my ESOL course. She is an hairdresser and sometimes she makes a plait with my hair, like my mum used to do when I was in Italy. I think she is a very nice person.
Anyway, in one of the first lessons of our second term, maybe the very first one, since I remember I brought a panettone from Italy, something strange happened.
During the lesson, a middle aged man entered the class. Definitely not a teacher, but not a builder either (they are re-decorating the school). Well, this man couldn't finish his sentence: "I'm sorry but this morning I did something wrong..." that this lady after raising her hand to have the teacher's attention stood up, asked for permission and walked to him.
The man gave her flowers and a box of chocolates to share with us (yesss!) and they were allowed to get out of the class for a couple of minutes.
Later the lady told us her husband felt bad for not having done a little favour she had asked for, even though she had already told him she was not angry at all with him.
Anyway, in that moment in the class, what I saw was a simple and sincere demonstration of affection.
I'm happy every student was staring at the couple and then nobody saw me: tears welled in my eyes and I just couldn't stop.