.. .: :: Francesca's delirium :: :. ..

Hello world!

This is a short message to let you know that I am all right.
I came back to Italy safely on July 17th, then I spent a week in Santorini, Greece with my parents (Friday 20/07 to Friday 27/07).
I am back home again. More tired than ever, because the weather is so hot and humid!
And still, I have to work hard at my computer project, otherwise I will not pass the course.

Guess what, I bought an air ticket to London! The date is August 24th 2007! I already regret it, because I will miss my loved ones badly. But I had to do it, and as soon as possible. The longer I had waited, the harder it would have been to decide.
I have nothing in London now: neither a place to stay nor a job. Only my books and clothes :p So I am not sure how long I will stay there. Maybe 2 weeks, maybe 3 months, maybe 1 more year. I really do not know.

Tomorrow I will start working at my computer project!
I even had to close (hopefully not forever) the photo-blog "Happysmile in London"... I do not have enough time to update it! I hope I will be able to do it sooner or later.
Anyway, the thing I need most now is sleeping.
Goodnight everyone!

Good old Photoshop, I hate you badly.
I have just lost the post I was typing because this wonderful graphic editor made my computer freeze. I should get used to it, and still every time I get furious.

So, you want to know how it feels to be back to my loved ones in my wonderful sunny country?
So confused!
I am happy to see my loved ones, and still leaving the girls I was looking after and my friends from the college was heart breaking!
I could have never imagined that being an au pair could be so sad at the end!
Do not misunderstand me, I do love my own family, they are simply the most important thing for me. But this year in the UK has been unforgettable. I think it changed my life someway, even if nothing special happened. Well, it depends on what you consider special. For me, everyday was special :)
I want to show you some picture of people I will never forget. Well, I will try to keep in touch with them anyway!

1. LILLAN AND INDIRA

Needless to say, the two gorgeous children I have looked after since September 2006. I love them so much! They are very different but both fantastic.
The hardest thing was saying goodbye to them!
I brought to Italy all the cards and drawings they made for me.
Please read the first message I received from Lillan. I found it in my room one day when I came back from the college. I was so moved :)
Lillan's message.

2. ANNA S

Anna S. is my age, from Poland. She is one of my best friends from the college. She is brave and sweet at the same time. Together with Anna T. and Dorota she showed me that Polish people are lovely and friendly. Thank you Anna!!!!

3. KITTY

Kitty is Chinese. She is cheerful and funny. I laugh a lot with her. She has invited me many times to her house to eat delicious Chinese food. Her husband David is one of the nicest men I have ever met in my life. He is a writer and, since he found out how much I love Chinese contemporary literature, he gave me as a present his first novel! I asked him to sign it :) I cannot wait to read his book. I will start soon!

4. LUCIANA (AND KETTY)

I met Luciana by chance, she asked me for directions in Muswell Hill. We found out immediately we are both Italian and we both like sunbathing, walking, charity shops and cakes! She is an intelligent and nice lady, and her friend Ketty is nice too (also, she is a stunning cook!).

5. CRIS

This mad woman is responsible for it all. I am so sad we met only a few times. Living in London is terrible from this point of view. You never meet if you have to take too many buses and trains... Now Cris lives in Wales with her husband so there are even less chances to meet. But I will always be grateful to her. Cris, thank you!
I hope you will have a big family soon! I might be your au pair for a while :)
Just kidding. But I will visit you :)

I have to go to sleep now. Tomorrow morning I am leaving for Santorini, Greece, with my parents. We will spend a week together! I hope to be spoiled :) And to relax as well. I worked very hard in London, and when I am back I will have so much work to do. Updating my manga fan sites (Cecilia I adore you!). Working at my php project, if I don't want to fail the course (and I don't want to). Planning the next step. Or I'd better say the next trip!
I have to get back to London! After all, half my things (clothes, all the books, and other stuff!) are still in my au pair family's house!!!

See you in a week!
Love and peace :)

RAMBLING, RAMBLING, RAMBLING!!!

Wow. It's July the 1st. I know it because my good old laptop shows me the date.
Otherwise, the whole June could have been October (and I suspect the first part of July will not be much different).
Since I came back to London after the half term break (I spent the last week of May in Italy) it hasn't stopped raining for a single day. I was so happy about the sunny and warm days we had in April! I even got tanned during my Easter holidays around London!
Well, one proof I have lived for a while in the UK is that I could write hundreds of words talking about the weather :)

Since today, smoking in enclosed spaces will be banned. I can't believe it took the British so long to achieve this important result! I guess they love smoking as much as they love drinking :)
Anyway, I used to think this would change something in my life here but actually at the moment I couldn't care less.
I don't know how many chances I will have to go out in the evenings from now to... July 17th!
Yes, this is the day when I am flying back to Italy. For good. Maybe. I have only a one-way ticket to Trieste anyway.

I am sorry, since I had some (*coughs*) diplomatic accidents for what I wrote in my blog and since I read Cecilia's post against melodramatic personal posts in blogs, I tried hard to write less about my dilemmas.
Haha I know, I failed miserably. I should delete this whole blog and start a new one focusing on the weather, recipes, shopping, gossip. *LOL*
Well, today I do not even try. Because I have spent a boring, too rainy weekend alone at home trying to do my homework for the programming course, trying to avoid the total panic at the idea that I have to pack everything and leave in 2 weeks, trying to go out to stretch my legs, getting soaking wet in 5 minutes, then finding shelter at the local Tesco, buying a lot of cheap junk food and eating it.
Ok, I'll stop here. Seriously, things can always get worse.
I guess that if the weather had been sunnier I would have gone out, I would have eaten less and I wouldn't had time to get depressed. So do not worry too much. I was just born confused. It was written in the stars: Libras are good at philosophy, then absolutely unable to take decisions (^_^).

How can I be unemployed and stressed? My friends work and study and complain less than me :)
I have so much to do for the computer course (after the last English exam, tomorrow a.m.) and then for a immense project the mother of the girls I'm looking after asked me to work at. How can I finish everything for mid July? Will I have to come back? Not sooner than mid August anyway.
I need some real Summer days to recharge my batteries. No matter if I faint for the heat. I want the SUN! I almost forgot what it looks like!!!

Ok. I love writing in my blog because it's an excellent therapy for releasing stress.
Especially when your family is at the seaside and you are at home waiting for the showers to stop. Sunny spells, where are you?
I know. I am obsessed. This year I will show up in my city, fat and white at the end of July! This has never happened before. I have always been a sun tan queen ç_ç (Gosh, is this a serious problem? I feel less intelligent than the brainless college cheerleaders in those stupid American movies).
Uh, what I love most when I write here is that I don't need to proof-read as nobody is going to mark my writing *LOL*
Maybe nobody is going to read it all either, but I'll never know. I know that there are several passersby and lurking readers. ^___^

I can't believe I have already written so many paragraphs without saying anything! Let's try and organize my scatty thoughts (???).

The big question today is:

Is it better to live in London or Trieste and why?

TRIESTE: PROs

* My loved ones, of course
* The sea and beautiful landscapes
* Miramare Castle + Park
* Napoleanica walk
* Sunny Summer
* My room and all my books
* Delicious food (in Italy in general)


TRIESTE: CONs

* No job opportunities
* Provincial town
* Beauty and appearance are everything (but maybe not only in Trieste)
* No events, festivals, concerts, etc.
* Average age of people living in Trieste is probably above 50.

LONDON: PROs

* Job opportunities
* Charity shops
* Amazing parks (esp. Hampstead Heath, Golders Hill Park, Waterlow Park)
* Free events, festivals, museums
* Classic fm radio network
* Anonimity
* Apple crumble, custard (with no eggs and no cream) and parsnips
* Learning English, even though I feel I am worsening :(

LONDON: CONs

* Awful weather
* Almost unaffordable cost of life
* Incredibly expensive means of transport
* The slowest traffic ever
* People leave for work
* Long distances, you never meet your friends if they don't live nearby
* Unfriendly people (oh well, this is true for Trieste as well!)
* I can't understand English people! And I am not talking about the language!!!

I will try to explain something more about life in London. But don't misunderstand me. I have listed many things I love about London. And there are several people I met here and I will really miss! Anyway...

There are millions of people in London (in Trieste there are not more than 250000!), but the majority is not English. And this is not bad itself (I have many Italian, Polish, Chinese friends). The thing is, London is not the best place to live. If it weren't for the many job opportunities, many people would choose other places. It seems to me that the most people I've met in London are just passing by. They might spend years here, trying to work hard to advance in their career, but they always have in their mind that they want to move. Maybe to their own countries, maybe to other locations in the UK. I myself have no intention to live in this city forever, but I feel it takes me more than one year to gain something from my experience abroad.
Also, as I mentioned above, long distances, long working hours, slow traffic, are all reasons why people just work all day and then go to bed (maybe they get drunk first, but I am a boring teetotaler).
Moreover, it's true that there might be many exciting events every day and especially in the weekeend, but too often you just want to stay in bed and relax after a tiring week. So don't think living here is a lot of fun everyday! This cannot happen in any place.

Uh. The overcast sky has turned from grey to white. Maybe there is a chance that I go for a walk?

I hope I will not end up buying other sweets ^_^

Neither film nor book reviews this time. Just wait, I'm almost finished with 'Peacock Cries' by Hong Ying. I already love it :) Chinese authors are great!!!