.. .: :: Francesca's delirium :: :. ..

Hi everyone,
sorry for the last post.
I have no intention to delete it or change it though.
Sometimes I read some posts I censored in the past and there is no logic in what I wrote. I myself wonder what I meant LOL

I am very sad for my grandma, but more than this I am worried about my dad. So I will try to keep an eye on him from a distance :)
My grandma did die in peace. She was old and tired, especially since she couldn't move and be independent. Also, she had a very strong faith in God. My aunt told me she died while sleeping, with a smile on her face. I know she faced death without fear. What a great woman!

In London there is no time for anything, so life goes on.
I will get back to all of you who wrote me, thanks for your messages.

Dear Blog,
today was exactly 1 month I've worked as a web developer at SD.
I wanted to tell you how excited I was at getting my first salary.
And that Amy invited me to eat out with her many friends to celebrate her birthday.
And that I finally had the courage to put on that long black skirt I bought years ago.
I wanted to show my friends a picture of me and Krystin blowing out candles for our birthdays, and a picture of my family celebrating my siblings' and my birthday in our favourite restaurant in Slovenia.
Maybe next time.

This afternoon my grandma passed away, and my sister sent me a text saying that my father took the train to be tomorrow a.m. in Southern Italy for her funeral. He is mad at his brother for not telling him, but I guess the truth is he feels bad for not being there in her last moments. Even though, in her conditions, she probably didn't understand much about what was happening around her.

Dear grandma,
am I still your favourite grandchild? I haven't visited you at least for 3 years. Last Summer you asked me to come visit you and I didn't do it. I guess you knew you were at the end of your journey, while, like an idiot, I used to think you would always be there.
I will always remember that Summer afternoon, some years ago in the back garden, when we talked and I understood that without even going to a secondary school, and without ever moving out from your small mountain village, you understood so much about life that I was ashamed of myself.
Being a strong and proud woman, you must have suffered a lot in the very last years of your life. I do hope you'll rest in peace now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE PERSON I LIKE BEST: MYSELF!

*LOL*
I wish it was true. Badly. But I am working hard to make this happen. One day it will :)

Before you ask, I didn't do anything special today. I had a computer course to attend from 10.30 to 16.30, and the laundry to do and food to buy. But yesterday my colleagues celebrated me and Krystin (whose name I have surely misspelled and whose birthday is on the 12th - an other nice and friendly Libra!!!) with a delicious cake (and the most embarrassing greeting card ever LOL) and earlier tonight my flat mates have been so lovely!
I knew that Anna wouldn't keep the secret. But well, she knows I am too embarrassed when I am the centre of attention. So I had a tranquil yet friendly celebration. With a very good cake and mouth-watering Ptasie Mleczko. Mmh. You have to try them before you die. Seriously. I adore them!

What a pity, I wanted to buy them and offer them to my flat mates, but I thought I am eating too much and also I was not 100% sure they knew about my birthday. So, I didn't want to be the one to tell them.
Unfortunately, they knew and they know I am obsessed by Ptasie Mleczko. So, the box is in the kitchen but it will be empty very soon...
Also, Anna bought one of the most wonderful illustrated books ever for me!!!
It's "Angels & Fairies" by Iain Zaczeck. A little treasure!!!!
I'm so happy! Thank you Anna!

Yesterday I have been informed that my grandmother had a stroke something like more than a week ago. I was mad at my family for hiding things like that from me (and for telling me as a birthday present...) and I feel very sad about that.
Sometimes I wonder if I am doing the right thing. I am 29 today (argh!), and I am far from being settled down. The most important thing in my life is my family, and I moved far away from them. I eat the cheapest tinned food and I cannot afford many things.
Living in London is just working and working. I feel so tired every evening!

In spite of this all, this is one of the best times of my life (so far - hopefully there will be even better ones). Am I going completely crazy?
I have to say that I am lucky, because I live in a crowded house, so I don't feel alone, and most important thing, I like my flat mates very much. I don't need to mention that one of my best friends is also one of my flat mates!
I also like my colleagues and job. I don't live off my parents, and I don't need to wash and clean after other people any longer. I am finally free, with some wonderful friends that always help me a lot :)
Last but not least, my parents and siblings are doing fine. I really cannot complain about anything then!

Besides colleagues and flat mates, I have to thank all the friends an pen pals who remembered my birthday (in random order!): my wonderful Cecilia (and hot Kj Knox), my little big Ali, my inimitable Kate, my sweet Elena, my weird cousin Antonella. And there are more!!
Go, Bea, Angela, Lin Jin, Anna C, Deanna. Thank you all!!!! I am so moved :) I will write you back, please be patient as usual!

Before I wish you sweet dreams, I think I will add some comments about food. I am probably losing my taste since I am eating only raw or tinned vegetables and junk food. Anyway, I am happily suprised to find more and more things I consider delicious in London. Not only in M&S (even though the most cakes and sweet snacks from M&S are highly recommended - Aaaah you should try the meringues!), but in Tesco, Sainsbury's, Lidl, Asda as well.
This time I want to recommend you one of my very favourite (and it's very cheap!) cakes: Tesco's raspberry swissroll. There is also the strawberry & cream version, which is even better, but it's double size, and the chocolate one, but I definitely prefer fruity stuff, so I've never tried that.
Also, Tesco's white chocolate with strawberry. Words can't describe it. 4 squares and you are in paradise :)
Last but not least, something I had never seen in Italy. Ginger Nuts. Ginger flavoured biscuits. Delicious is not enough. I adore them as much as I adore meringues or strawberries :) Figure it...
Oh! There are other biscuits from Tesco I strongly recommend: Garibaldi (thin biscuits with currants)!!! I would eat a whole packet in one day, so I am trying not to buy them...

I'm not a fan of savoury food, even though I am worryingly appreciating tinned food like beans, peas, chickpeas, sweetcorn. I have even bought, eaten and loved Tesco's tinned vegetable curry! I had to warm it up though. Usually I do not even use the microwave, just a tin opener :)
Other non-sweet things I started to like? Gherkins! They are amazing!
Oh and if you really want a good pizza, Papa Del's is the place! Even better than La Porchetta! Trust me, I am a real fan of pizza! :)

Mmh. I'd better go to sleep. Next time I will tell you if the pre-cooked vegetarian meals I bought at M&S this afternoon are good. I bet they are, I can't wait to eat them LOL

Wish I had a photocamera to give you some glimpses of my life here :p

DOBRANOC everyone :)

Happy birthday good old Fra!!!

So you wanna know how it's going huh? :)
Well, I am very happy, though I am frustrated because of my lack of energy (after 6 p.m. I just dream of a bed - do you think I should try and sleep more than 6 hours per night?) and because of the embarrassing level of my spoken English :p
Besides that, I work as hard as I can and I feel so excited that finally I have a chance to do it! Italy will always be in my heart, but I couldn't live there.
I miss some friends I have in Italy, but I do have some friends here I would miss as well if I were somewhere else :)
Tomorrow I will finally join a gym near where I work. I am sure it will help me and especially my back :)
I hope people in English gyms are as chatty as in Italy (and as I am) hehehe
A big hug everybody. Have a lovely weekend!!! I am sure it is going to be sunny! Yesss!!!